Biking while fat

I took a ride today in the Santa Monica mountains. It may have been the most painful experience of my life. Not only was I passed by a group of old Asian hikers but I got bitten by a tick. I don't know if anyone out there has ever had one on their body but let me just say it sucks. I wasn't sure how to get it off so I decided to get rid of it with the best cleanser out there, FIRE. I held the match to my leg and watched the little guy shrivel up. Now the hypochondriac in me is wondering if I have lyme disease. I feel the fatigue coming on now.